How to Build a Sex Room

Mistress Isobel Devi on Netflix

Ever have to keep a secret about one of the most exciting things that has ever happened in your life? Me either until May of 2021. It was a challenge, and I mostly pretended to myself it never even happened in the first place to curb the overwhelming desire to chat everyone’s ear off about it. I could really not, I had signed a non disclosure. But now it is out and I can finally share my amazing experience with you all!

It is likely you have already seen the show “How to Build a Sex Room” on Netflix, apparently many people have because it hit #7 on the charts last week. My excitement is exceeding my vocabulary capabilities right now and I am so grateful for everyone who believed in me along the way to this great moment. 

Couples counseling is one of my most coveted professional undertakings. Not only do I get to experience the excitement and joy of two people at once, but I can help them grow together through their sexual deviations in a healthy and constructive way. The emotional reward of introducing couples to BDSM and helping them find the activities they like most in a safe way is immeasurable. So when I was approached by Netflix to help them film a docu series about couples wanting to explore their sexuality in the BDSM realms I was absolutely ecstatic and also very honored.

Working with Melanie Rose

As an added bonus this project placed me at work with one of the best in Interior Design and more interestingly, adult themed interior design. Melanie Rose was a pleasure to converse with and had a lot of foresight and mindful intuition in her tool bag. I could tell she really enjoyed creating these magical spaces for her client and in a way that was a big common ground for us. The joy of a happy customer who just found intimate fulfillment with their partner is special and she was not afraid to push these curious bunnies to experiment and taste things that are new and a little intimidating to them. After all they get a WHOLE sex room, there ought to be lots to explore there. 

Self exploration is daunting, like most things with high rewards. Coercing these lovers out of their comfort zone was almost a prerequisite to giving them an adult wonderland in their own home or back yard. Melanie did a wonderful job pushing her clients to experiment with the unknown and precarious and introducing them to some of the exciting activities and scenes they can play with. Now that they know what is out there for them to enjoy, they can make a choice to taste from any and all the treats they wish, as much as they want, and as often as they like. They say growth begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and I do believe she led them there in the most fun and exciting way.

Working with Hannah and Wesley

I think my whipping scene with 46 may have intimidated Hannah and Wesley a bit! But after we were able to introduce each other they were very sweet and fun to play with. Through the magic of TV we were able to figure out their favorite dungeon props in no time at all. But in reality we spent a while chatting, laughing about silly and awkward questions and fears and ideas, and after testing out several implements and devices, getting excited for the stuff that made her eyes twinkle. 

We talked through some of her fears around bondage and how he can work towards making them less relevant in their relationship and more accessible to them. We discussed techniques to enter intimate space gracefully and maintain the atmosphere for the duration of their scenes. A lot of BDSM is psychological, like playing pretend for adults. Not everyone has a natural inclination to be a good BDSM actor and player, but this is a skill that anyone can learn and perfect with enough practice. Who would not want to check that chore off their list?

The room Melani Designed for Hannah and Wesley is a work of fine art. It brought a smile to my face to see all the little elements of our consultation and tasting brought to life in such an opulent way. 

How to Build a Sex Room

As a professional control haver, giving up control to a TV production company was very daunting for me. I worried about representing my community and industry and also giving the clients a productive and quality experience. So when the show came out I was up at 1 in the morning watching it and reeling with excitement. 

Never has TV been more open and concerned about showcasing the adult industry in such a positive way. This is the series we all needed right now. The “sex rooms” are elegant and awe inspiring. They offer unlimited pleasures in exchange for your intimate imagination. I loved hearing Melanie talk about the importance and nuance of consent and helping guide coples to stroll further into their desires and fantasies through sensuality and communication. No drama and bs, just positive exploration of people’s personal indulgences. A breath of fresh air for anyone hoping to normalize the idea of sexual liberation.

Bus 30

Denver Mistress Isobel Devi Leather thigh high boots


23:05 – Screeching breaks announce the punctual arrival of line 30, the last eastbound bus for the day. A tall figure shrouded in a long flowing brown coat boarded, paid the fare, and slowly made way to the back. Long brown curls cascaded down from a matching brown hat, bouncing with every foot step, drawing all alert eyes on board. Of course at close to midnight there were few left to observe the incognito passenger, but those who frequented the line were slaves to their curiosity, and consequently concern. A woman seated towards the middle of the line near the aisle placed her hand gently on the luxurious sleeve as it approached to pass her.

“It is better to sit near the front. Late at night especially…” she muttered in a concerned tone. 

The tall, mysterious woman smiled down from behind her tinted glasses. “Thank you.” and continued her graceful strut, past all the empty seats and all the way to the back, very back of the bus, taking her seat by the driver side window. For the next two stops she sat with her legs crossed, one leather boot over the other peeking from behind her fur lined cloak. Her slender pale hands rested perfectly on her knee, frozen in time, like a silver statue.

23:18 – The jagged symphony announces the arrival of another frequent rider along the ominous evening route. The same character who always boards bus 30 at the intersection of 7th street and 20th avenue, headed for the last stop of the day, pays his dues and proceeds to his usual seat, in the back, very back of the bus. A smile stretches over his shiny, textured face as he peers through his scraggly tresses and catches a glimpse of his usual seat, occupied. Excitement visibly wells up in him, pushing his steps quickly through the aisle, past the old woman scoffing at him in disgust and into the seat right beside an attractive woman in a long brown coat and leather boots. The wheels turn and everyone bobs gently in agreement towards the end of this ride.

Wasting no time, the newcomer slouches into his seat, letting his body droop off the seat awkwardly as he adjusts himself inside his own loose fitting outerwear. A strong alcoholic scent permeates the air around him as he shuffles loudly, peppering his performance with offensive grunts. Through the window’s reflection, a pale brown haired woman’s mauve lips are clearly smiling, watching every movement with great interest. Intoxicated by her perfect jawline and full, ripe looking mouth, he smiles back, his slimy mouth gaping as his lips attempt to create the shape of contentment. For a second he is still and dumbfounded, then the performance continues with the usual fit of vigorous shuffling in a very obvious vertical motion. This goes on for an eternity, or a minute, time does not always flow as one would anticipate, but eventually it comes to its obligatory head. 

Slowly, the woman slides her hands up her thigh, into her pocket and out with a pair of thin, leather wrist gloves. He can see her slipping her hands in, expanding each little shaft around her slender fingers one by one. The now sweaty strands of hair on his face barring a full view only serve to lull him deeper into his fantasy as her hands disappear into the coat, slipping between the sparse buttons. She shuffled a bit and flashed a smile back, a real one this time, face to tinted glasses. 

Ecstatic, he makes no pretenses, his motions now clearly betraying a very inappropriate act for the back seat of bus 30 at 23:31. A stain starts to form on his sweatpants, growing larger and larger behind the bulge responsible for it. As his eyes slowly adjust to hers staring directly at the dark wet fabric on his groin, he sees a flash of perfect white teeth roll over her bottom lip. An ungainly laugh falls out of his gaping face, and he slips his erect cock out for display. Before his eyes could focus down on his pride, and then back up to his prize, the sobering touch of a blade stuns him alert. In one swift motion she had expertly placed her left hand over his mouth and her right hand, apparently now armed with a hunting knife, just on the other side of his oozing appendage.

“Do as  I say and I will let you keep it.” Her voice is calm and sweet, like she is giving directions to a spa room.

A small drop of blood slowly gathers at the tip of the knife as the skin splits easily under its pressure. Tears well up in his bloodshot eyes.

“Do not make a single sound. Do you understand?” She hisses. 

A vigorous head shake.

“Good” Her hand slips down his face and across their laps. Ruby red fingertips start peeling buttons open on her coat one by one. The knife is still in place, but the promise of seeing the top of the long, leather boots melts the memory of this predicament almost clear away. Surely, there is nothing this attractive woman in thigh high leather boots can request that would even be objectionable, let alone worth such a loss. She unfurls her garment, revealing more leather wrapping her waspie figure, and sheer, immaculate stockings tucking into her boots. In her lap and strapped to her hips, lay a large, thick dildo. Jet Black, like the boots. 

“Get on your knees and suck it.”

Time freezes for a second, then a bump in the road brings back to mind the proximity of the blade to the penis.

“Now.”

He scrambles down, cramming between the seats and her lap and begins to struggle. Exaggerated by her forceful touch, his efforts are messy and unfulfilling and he begins to choke. 

“Shhhhh,” she leans down and pushes his head down and onto her tool, further into his mouth as he attempts to articulate his lips and tongue around its size.

 “I am going to need you to do this quietly and quickly because I do not have lube and it needs to go in your ass, now.” His eyes widen as he chokes, spitting up a big wad of slime.

“That will do, bend over. Hurry up.”

She gropes him into place, still wielding the hunting knife with intention. Crammed in a corner, his head by the footing, he is trapped, too inebriated to risk fighting back. Now, wasting no time, she has begun to slide the sizable dildo into him. Using nothing but spit, she pushes it firmly, gaping him open, in the back seat of bus 30, in his usual seat, but in a very unusual position. The next few minutes last forever as road turbulence intensifies the vengeful back seat ass rape, like the creschendo of a feverish symphony. Humiliation dulls the pain of the loveless and lubeless intercourse. He takes every stroke, stoic in his drunken contemplation, hoping that this too will pass. Then she stops.

“Time for me to finish.” She sighs with relief and suddenly a rush of warm fluid pumps into him. Disgrace has never burned as deeply. Another deep sigh of satisfaction marks the end of the robust flow and she slips out and plugs the gape with a rubber stopper. Without saying another word, she wipes clean onto his jacket, buttons her coat, and struts slowly forward just in time for the next stop. There is no pause between her last step and the doors of the bus opening for boarding, and just like that the night swallows her away. 

Just one more stop left on the route.

The Good Behavior Guide

Mistress Isobel and a good girl

Social nuances can be perplexing. We all want to be seen, heard, understood, and hopefully liked. But how those prizes are earned can vary greatly between different groups and individuals. Every person is unique, and has their own personal preferences, making socializing in unfamiliar spaces a nebulous undertaking. BDSM, especially when mindfully practiced, can lift a lot of this fog. Do you yearn to be good and earn all the head pats? 

Mistress Isobel Devi petting her slave girl.
It takes more than good luck to earn head pats at my feet.

Good behaviors start with good intentions, but so do a lot of terrible mistakes so don’t stop now, we are just getting to the good part, the part where your hopes and dreams begin their journey to realization. I only speak for myself with this collection of thoughts, but it is worth noting that some of my peers have shared my sentiments on what constitutes a good boy, girl, pet, slave, client, and human. All of the following topics begin with a few minutes, or more if you should be feeling extra cautious, of thoughtful contemplation. Is your request clear and concise? Is it a reasonable ask of the addressee? Have you offered anything of equal or greater value in exchange for their attention and help? 

Here are what I consider good behaviors.

Online

In my robust internet dweller experience, some 24 years and two thirds of my life online, this is one of the trickiest undertakings. Here you are in front of the world wide web, vying for the attention of some person or people, me maybe. How do you stand out in a good way?

First make an effort to appear genuine. There is no need to put out any personal or sensitive information, you can be anonymous from your civilian persona, but also known online for being a good intentioned person. Always fill out your social media profiles as honestly as you can, giving people a glimpse of your personality, so they can decide if they would like to get to know you better. 

Make an effort to always contribute positive or helpful things to conversations. Sadly that arsenal of dad jokes is not going to work in many cases. If it is not helpful or uplifting, pass on making the comment. 

Be patient. People are skeptical, and busy. It takes time to build a good reputation, and no time at all to trash one you have worked hard on. Find understanding that your light will eventually be seen by all who should be looking for its warmth in time. 

Things to avoid: 

  • Airing out personal drama.
  • Trying to have free kinky chat with people in post comments.
  • Making emotional commentary on topics outside of your expertise.
  • Attacking people over petty personal beliefs and preferences.
  • Bringing politics into anything without a very good reason.
  • Cherry picking statements to get attention for something irrelevant.

Written Communication

Let us make this a little more personal. You are writing an email to me for the first time ever and you really want to make a good impression so that I can be excited to reply back as soon as possible. Here are some writing behaviors I find very attractive: 

Speak in complete sentences and with proper grammar. Please do not abbreviate anything in your correspondences and double check emails for typos and auto-correct issues prior to hitting send. I have no way of knowing what you meant, only what I see written by you. Seeing a well written email with all pertinent information included gives me confidence that our interactions will be easy and pleasant, and starts our relationship on a healthy note.

Send one email at a time. If I am traveling or preoccupied with existing projects it may take me up to two days to respond. Send a gentle reminder if it has been a few days and you feel your correspondence may have slipped through the cracks. 

During Booking

What about when you are booking a session? Are there ways you can shine as an applicant? If you are writing an email to request a booking the following tips could provide you the leverage you are seeking:

Only use email or the scheduler to book. I have locked most of my social media DMs to save those feeble to temptation, but do have some social media accounts where this is not convenient or possible. Do not take this as an invitation to stray from the rules. Make a good impression and inquire for sessions only via email or my online scheduling forms.

Tell me a little bit about yourself. But do not get too carried away writing a whole life story. The things I would like to know about include your interests, brief recounts from previous sessions and kinky scenes, Mistresses you have served in the past, and any limitations you are operating under. Try to keep your composition within a few paragraphs. Getting to know each-other in depth little by little, and through experience versus autobiography is deeply satisfying.

Leave graphic topics out of your first point of contact. Keeping your first point of contact concise is key. Getting into the nitty-gritty details of past adventures can be read as an attempt to initiate un-consented-to play through text and is generally regarded as rude. If a preemptive discussion is desired or needed, contact me via sextpanther or niteflirt to discuss in detail. Note that the exchange of money for penetrative activities, such as strap-on, is illegal in all states where sex for money is illegal. Talking about your fantasy on the phone however, is not. So feel free to call or text and discuss your kink with me in a safe space.

Once an invitation to book has been extended you will also be presented with deposit methods to secure your booking. It shows preparedness and respect to clear this step as soon as instructions have been received.  

During Scenes

Maybe in person interactions are your kryptonite. Having a clear plan for the meeting helps ease nerves and keep a steady path through. 

Upon arrival. If you have arrived to an appointment much earlier than anticipated, politely wait until your appointment time, or text to check if it is possible to start sooner.

Once inside my private space an upstanding approach is to politely kiss the Mistresses hand in greeting. Kneeling while doing so gets you extra bonus points, as does kissing the feet. I love to have my feet kissed.

     For the next few minutes you may ask questions and become a bit more familiar with the environment. Utilize this time well because once it is over, you are mine to do with as I please. When the time has come, place your envelope in plain sight, kneel, minding your eye contact restriction, and wait for my next command.

In Real Life

We kinky people are also normal people sometimes. We go to restaurants, shop at stores, and can even be found at events and venues having a good time living our best vanilla lives. It should go without saying, fantasy cannot intrude on reality and I would never approach someone I only know from the kink scene during their vanilla life and risk blowing some cover or secret. Likewise it is never ok to approach me or any other providers or public figures in vanilla spaces without an explicit invitation to do so. The correct approach is to politely make contact via an established method, like email or text, and allow me to make the decision whether I want to interact with you at that moment in time. Erring on the side of caution and sending an email or text saying “I saw you at that concert, you looked beautiful, I hope you had fun!” is a perfect way to address that newly discovered common interest without the risk of arousing suspicion. Extra bonus points if there is a gift attached to that note.

A perceptive little pervert may have noticed a theme here, be mindful and consider the positions others have in life when you are making a conscious decision to address them. Be kind, patient, and respectful. None of these suggestions require prohibitive skill levels or financial contributions. They simply guide you to showing the most attractive version of who you can be, so that you can enjoy the company of many other great weirdos and heathens, maybe even mine. 

Miss Isobel Devi using a kitten as a stool
Are you working hard to make yourself desirable for me?