How to Build a Sex Room

Mistress Isobel Devi on Netflix

Ever have to keep a secret about one of the most exciting things that has ever happened in your life? Me either until May of 2021. It was a challenge, and I mostly pretended to myself it never even happened in the first place to curb the overwhelming desire to chat everyone’s ear off about it. I could really not, I had signed a non disclosure. But now it is out and I can finally share my amazing experience with you all!

It is likely you have already seen the show “How to Build a Sex Room” on Netflix, apparently many people have because it hit #7 on the charts last week. My excitement is exceeding my vocabulary capabilities right now and I am so grateful for everyone who believed in me along the way to this great moment. 

Couples counseling is one of my most coveted professional undertakings. Not only do I get to experience the excitement and joy of two people at once, but I can help them grow together through their sexual deviations in a healthy and constructive way. The emotional reward of introducing couples to BDSM and helping them find the activities they like most in a safe way is immeasurable. So when I was approached by Netflix to help them film a docu series about couples wanting to explore their sexuality in the BDSM realms I was absolutely ecstatic and also very honored.

Working with Melanie Rose

As an added bonus this project placed me at work with one of the best in Interior Design and more interestingly, adult themed interior design. Melanie Rose was a pleasure to converse with and had a lot of foresight and mindful intuition in her tool bag. I could tell she really enjoyed creating these magical spaces for her client and in a way that was a big common ground for us. The joy of a happy customer who just found intimate fulfillment with their partner is special and she was not afraid to push these curious bunnies to experiment and taste things that are new and a little intimidating to them. After all they get a WHOLE sex room, there ought to be lots to explore there. 

Self exploration is daunting, like most things with high rewards. Coercing these lovers out of their comfort zone was almost a prerequisite to giving them an adult wonderland in their own home or back yard. Melanie did a wonderful job pushing her clients to experiment with the unknown and precarious and introducing them to some of the exciting activities and scenes they can play with. Now that they know what is out there for them to enjoy, they can make a choice to taste from any and all the treats they wish, as much as they want, and as often as they like. They say growth begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and I do believe she led them there in the most fun and exciting way.

Working with Hannah and Wesley

I think my whipping scene with 46 may have intimidated Hannah and Wesley a bit! But after we were able to introduce each other they were very sweet and fun to play with. Through the magic of TV we were able to figure out their favorite dungeon props in no time at all. But in reality we spent a while chatting, laughing about silly and awkward questions and fears and ideas, and after testing out several implements and devices, getting excited for the stuff that made her eyes twinkle. 

We talked through some of her fears around bondage and how he can work towards making them less relevant in their relationship and more accessible to them. We discussed techniques to enter intimate space gracefully and maintain the atmosphere for the duration of their scenes. A lot of BDSM is psychological, like playing pretend for adults. Not everyone has a natural inclination to be a good BDSM actor and player, but this is a skill that anyone can learn and perfect with enough practice. Who would not want to check that chore off their list?

The room Melani Designed for Hannah and Wesley is a work of fine art. It brought a smile to my face to see all the little elements of our consultation and tasting brought to life in such an opulent way. 

How to Build a Sex Room

As a professional control haver, giving up control to a TV production company was very daunting for me. I worried about representing my community and industry and also giving the clients a productive and quality experience. So when the show came out I was up at 1 in the morning watching it and reeling with excitement. 

Never has TV been more open and concerned about showcasing the adult industry in such a positive way. This is the series we all needed right now. The “sex rooms” are elegant and awe inspiring. They offer unlimited pleasures in exchange for your intimate imagination. I loved hearing Melanie talk about the importance and nuance of consent and helping guide coples to stroll further into their desires and fantasies through sensuality and communication. No drama and bs, just positive exploration of people’s personal indulgences. A breath of fresh air for anyone hoping to normalize the idea of sexual liberation.

The Family Dominatrix

Completing the modern family’s most decadent needs.

We are all complex, multifaceted beings. We have likes, dislikes, curiosities, fears, aspirations and the ambitious need to nurture and grow in all those areas. Intimacy, weather sexual or platonic is high on most lists. The thought of hiring a dominatrix to spice up a relationship or find intimate growth may have crossed your mind already, or perhaps it was timidly bought up by your partner and you simply felt too intimidated by the process to pursue the idea further. BDSM is not for everyone, and it can be scary to venture into the depths of your most guarded desires, but if it is an interest of yours, my personal philosophy is to try everything once or twice before writing it off. I write this piece in hopes it will guide you and your partner(s) on your journey to finding the perfect provider for your needs and booked with no issues at all; just like booking your next hair appointment. 

Finding the Perfect Provider

 Part One : Prep

This is a big task and can seem dizzying to a novice. Let us break it down into fun bits that are easy and exciting to manage. The first thing you will want to nail down is what you are looking for. Ask yourself the following questions:

What do we like for sure?
What are we curious about and unsure we will enjoy?
What are we certainly not interested in trying at this point?
What scares us the most about this prospect?
What excites us the most about it?

It helps to write these down and don’t get too hung up on details at first, you can always change your mind later. Make a fun date out of it! Sit down with the person or people you want to explore your kinks with and spit ball some ideas. If nerves or inexperience are thwarting this process, do explore some online resources to see what is out there and available for you. My best recommendation is to look for providers in your area and check out their social media, blog, and whatever else they have created for their audience. Remember, just because something is shown on a business website or profile, does not mean it has to be part of YOUR scene. It just means it could be, if that was your interest.

 Part Two: Search

Once you have a better idea of what your ideal scene looks like you are ready to look for your perfect facilitator. So clearly time to hit the Google. But don’t stop there, check out the top social media sites too. You do not want to have your options garnished by the failure of a vanilla algorithm. Not every excellent domme is an excellent web developer, and most of us chose to build and host our own sites for privacy and flexibility reasons. Try a variety of search queries, as they could bring up different results, by pairing key words like “Dominatrix”, “Mistress/Master”, “BDSM session”, “Fetish Provider”, “Kink” etc with
your geographic location. 

 Here again, a little bit of foresight is beneficial:

Do our interests require an experienced and knowledgeable professional?

    This might seem like a silly question. Of course you want the most professional pro to help with your journey! But not all kinks are equally specialized. For example most providers who have undergone basic training can safely conduct a scene with easier activities such as foot fetish, erotic humiliation, or tease and denial. They do not need 10 years of dungeon experience to spit in your face. But if you are craving an intricate rope bondage scene with suspension, or the sting of a single tail on your back, it is probably best to carefully select a person who is not only experienced in BDSM but also adept at those particular activities. Look for examples of their work on their social profiles, perhaps in their fetlife account, and maybe spend $10-$50 on premium content of theirs where you are able to confirm that this is something they can help you explore, safely.

Are our interests covered by the provider we have found?

     Most providers work with all genders but every professional is unique in at least some ways, so be sure to check their limits and services. Most established providers will have a set list of “do not do”s somewhere on their website. Do not try to push those, if they don’t do it, they will not do it for new clients, no matter how sexy you are. Simply find a person who does offer your interest. 

     Tip: It may help you to know that most North American BDSM providers do not mix vanilla sex, like hand jobs or any type of classic sexual intercourse scenario, in their scenes. For those types of scenes you may find more luck with an escort who also practices BDSM. 

Will we be safe with them?

    This may just be the most important question you can ask yourself. From privacy to physical well being, you want the scene to be enjoyable from the start until the finish and after it is said and done. Remember that the adult industry is unregulated, and even with regulated businesses bad pro’s are unfortunately part of life. 

Signs that your choice is safe are: 

  • They have been practicing for five or more years and have little or no drama surrounding them.
  • They have a robust social media presence, on multiple platforms. *longevity of social media accounts plays a small role here as we get disabled disproportionately compared to vanilla businesses.
  • They have a strong network of other professionals they work with both locally and abroad.

How much will it cost? And how do we pay?

This is a good time to ensure you are able to budget this service. As of 2021 the North American industry standard rate for full BDSM services starts at $400 for a single client’s first hour. Couples and more specialized scenes could be priced higher and multi hour scenes could be discounted at the provider’s discretion. Payment methods for the adult industry are usually limited by the larger processors. Do not be surprised if their website lists less popular methods of payment like PantheonPay, SpankPay, or even gift cards for the deposit and then requests cash only for the balance upon meeting. This information is generally available on their website to make it easier for you to plan and budget your leisure so make sure you take all the time you need to familiarize yourself with the journey ahead. I promise it can only add to your excitement and anticipation and remove any potential surprises that would take away from the overall experience.


Contacting your Mistress of Choice

Okay but we are still nervous.

Nervous is good, take as many steps as you need. Here are some examples of steps you can take to build your confidence:

Book a consultation – Most providers will offer a phone or cam consultation for the cost of your deposit which then reserves your scene. So it is free to consult with them when you book after. This gives you a chance to ask questions, hear their words and intent, and get to know them a little more personally before it is time to exchange power. 

Register for a pay to chat service they may offer like sextpanther or nite flirt and ask them as many questions as you want, a la carte, for as long as you need, until you feel ready to book.

See if they offer a casual meet and greet scene where you pay for their time to just sit and talk about anything you need to get off your chest with no obligation or pressure to book.

Okay, we are ready, now what?

So you did your homework, discovered some new things about yourselves, found the person who seems most qualified and compatible to take you on a wild ride, and are beyond excited to do the damn thing already. Great, it is all downhill from here! 

Now that you have dotted all your “i”s and crossed all your “t”s it is time to contact them for your session. There are two ways to do this which are vastly preferred by practitioners in the industry: filling out an application, if one is available on their website or composing an email. Just remember to include important information such as your availability, location, and interests. You may find the tips for composing an email in my booking entry helpful.

What to expect

Provided your request was successfully received and did not raise any red flags, such as you blatantly asking for locally illegal or unavailable services, you can expect an email correspondence back within 3 business days or less. This does mean you want to plan your experience ahead and give at least a business week’s notice, especially if your availability falls during high demand times such as evenings or weekends.

This is by no means an all inclusive guide, but it should help steer you in the right direction. Questions are always welcome. You never know when something you asked could become the next piece to helps hundreds of readers just like yourself. 

Your lovely partner and I congregating about the faith of your immediate future.
Models Charlotte Brooke and Isobel Devi.

Holiday Specials

Denver Mistress Isobel Devi in a black latex catsuit

I will be spending the holidays home in Denver, with no travel plans until January. It was my very intention to host a kinky holiday party this year but alas this is not in the cards. So I will give back to my loyal community in a way of holiday specials. Starting now and until January 5th 2021 the following session specials will be available to all accepted applicants:

3 Hour Bondage Bliss $600 (save $200) – Dive deeper into rope bondage with me. Explore advanced poses and work on your flight stamina. Good for beginners in good physical condition and people who want to take their bondage submission to a new level.

Sensory Deprivation and Abandonment $500 for 2 hours and $200 for each additional hour – You need to relax more. Let me take away the burden of choice and put you where you belong, in a neat package, tucked away until you are needed again. Spend some time immobilized in plastic, rope, leather, or rubber, and let the world around you vanish with the sounds and sights as I take control of your mind, body and soul.

30 minute sessions $250 – Yes! 30 minute sessions are back for a limited time. They are still bound by all standard booking protocols and only allow for a single scene such as ball busting, trampling, spanking, or foot worship only.

Birthday Wishes

My birthday is on October 9th. I will be turning 34. Such an occasion calls for wild dancing, uncivilized behavior, and pain in the male groin. Celebrate with me, and offer your body to be used for a sacred occasion by two powerful deities, Mistress Nicci and myself.

Starting at 11:00 and ending at 18:00 on October the 9th 2020 select slaves will be permitted to join us for My private birthday party. Double domination and group environment scenes will be conducted during this time for the following activities only: Spankings, Foot Domination and Ballbusting. My frozen chestnut heart wants to play fun party games like last slave standing for ball kicks, trample cat walks, and spankings administered on a single ass, and in a single day, record breaking. I might even award prizes if I am very blown away by your patronage.

To apply for an invitation, email me with the following information:

Your full name, contact number, all availability between 11 – 18 on the 9th, and weather you prefer to see us privately or in a group setting with other kinky depraved slaves.

References are mandatory – if you do not have a reference you can book a cam or live session with either myself or Mistress Nicci to be interviewed and receive basic BDSM training specific to our style of Domination and needs.

The special tribute rate for my birthday is 30 minutes for $300 or 60 minutes for $500. We will both be present and interacting with you for the entirety of the session.

I 💖 Feet – 9 19 19

The second edition of “I 💖 Feet” is upon us, like a dangling sandal, about to abandon it’s bare foot.

When I relocated to Denver in September of 2019, I immediately noticed a very blatant lack in foot related things. Coming from a long stretch of Florida living, where foot parties are a bi monthly occurrence, I was saddened by this. But then I became happy, because I knew you foot lovers are here, battling your craving every day just like us. So I created “I 💖 Feet”, an oasis of toes in the Midwestern fetish desert. After all, it is no secret that about half of the world’s population has some form of a foot fetish.

With the help of Mistress Nicci, the owner of the beautiful event space, and local models Amber, Indica, and Vanessa Velvet, our first little foot soiree was a brilliant success. Six hours of lush foot fun went by in the blink of an eye and I was so happy and honored to have to kick some folks out. I loved that you loved your times with us!

Seven months later it is time to pedi party once more. I realize some of you wish I did not put so much time in between events, and I wish this too. Well, all you have to do to enjoy more frequent events from us is show up and support with your adoration this September 19th at 6 pm.

This Fall

Enjoy the company of multiple local foot and fetish models for an entire evening. Play games to win bragging rights and break the ice with a girl you want to impress. Sipping drinks will be available to cull a bit of social anxiety but please enjoy all adult consumables responsibly. The ladies will be watching and we do prefer a classy lady or gentleman in our company. Miss Indica will be returning to ” I 💖 Feet” this fall, and we are excited to add Amber as an official host, as well as guest Models Sid Wild and Brody Luciano, and a very special performance by the lovely Heather Minx.

Heather will bless our eyes with her sultry moves and perfect little size 7 feet around 9:30 pm. Shortly after, the raffle will be drawn. Raffle winners can take home personal items, prepared with love from our models. However this time, the grand prize for our event will be awarded to the most skilled masseuse. As the evening wanes and our feet become sore from all the strutting and teasing, a contest will be held for the best foot lover. Do you have what it takes to dazzle the judges and be invited back as a special guest to the foot nymphs? Contestants will be judged on tactile pressure quality, knowledge of the anatomy of the foot, and effectiveness of massage. Start practicing!

Other Activities

Other activities allowed at “I 💖 Feet” are:
Ball Busting
Trampling
Leg Locks and mild wrestling
Tickling

All of the above will be done clothed and with the agreement of all parties involved. Consent is key! Everything else is up to your imagination and freakiness.

You Are Invited!

All beautiful people are invited to “I 💖 Feet”. When purchasing a ticket, please choose the gender you identify with in your every day life. If you are a lady, choose a ladies pass, if you are a gentleman, then you will choose the gentleman pass. Easy peasy! Ladies and gentlemen are both allowed to worship feet, or have their feet worshiped. All foot related activities are fair at ” I 💖 Feet”. We just ask that you maintain consensual contact through effective negotiations at all times.

Guide to a Good Time

It seems like a delicious, moist piece of cake to enjoy your time around an “I 💖 Feet” model. But just in case, here are some helpful hints to success:

Dress to impress: For the ladies this can be anything that can be worn at an adult cocktail party, just keep the essentials covered please! For the gentlemen, we ask that you wear a nice clean shirt, buttons downs and polos preferred, a good looking pair of pants, and shoes that would make your mother proud. Please do not remove any clothing during the event unless you were paid to perform. All nipples are equal in the worship den, cover them up.

– Negotiate, Negotiate, Negotiate! Make sure you ask express permission before entering into any activity with anyone else, especially if physical contact is involved. Never assume someone wants something, better to be safe than a jerk.

– Mind your party intake: “I 💖 Feet” is a B.Y.O.B. event, but please limit yourself to sipping spirits, or low alcohol content beverages. THC consumption is permitted, with the same caveat.

– Respect: Respecting one another is super easy!
Limit your scenes to 10 – 20 minute increments.
Mind the limits of your company.
Keep a polite viewing distance from ongoing scenes, about 5-10 feet.
Unless some emergency is happening, do not interrupt a scene.

– No Worship Above the Knee: This is a blanket rule for the event. If you want more and the model is into it, you can arrange a private meeting with them at a separate time.

– Photo and Video: Taking photos and videos of the models and patrons is allowed only with their knowledge and approval. To avoid accidents, please keep cell phone use to a minimum, or step away from others for moment and come back when done.

– Tipping: Tipping is allowed and highly appreciated. We just ask that you do so discretely so to not create awkwardness for those who are unable to spoil us like they wish. Great ways to tip are:
Handing the a general tip to either myself or Mistress Nicci upon entry or departure.
Handing a tip meant only for an individual directly to them in a discrete fashion. We recommend a small envelope or flower bouquet type gift.
Tipping through ticket leap by purchasing “A Gift for the Hostesses”, which is dispersed equally among all attending models.

Win A Free Entry

All raffle tickets purchased before September 9th at 9pm will be automatically entered into our free entry raffle. The winner will be drawn that Monday evening and the rest of the tickets will go back into the pool for event prize drawings. Once drawn and contacted, you will have 48 hours to claim your free ticket, after that another winner will be drawn.

We are thrilled to meet you!