It is no secret that focused training will yield the most gains, whether that is intellectual gains, or physical gains, or kinky gains; Consistency is key! I want to build a strong community with happy confident kinksters, and that starts by offering a more easy to follow regiment with a targeted BDSM training programme. More activities will be added to this roster as the project grows. But I thought I would start with one of our favorites: Ball Busting.
My goal is to make you the ball bustee of your hottest dreams. Whether you are a novice, mostly inexperienced, or a complete wuss is not important. Only your desire to be kicked in the balls and learn to love it matters. Training begins at your comfort level and escalates slowly beyond your limits as you form new ones to surpass again and again. I use a combination of cognitive behavioral training and exposure therapy to get you the most painfully satisfying results possible. There are no excuses not to stick to your training:
Choose between 4 and 6 training sessions. Train as often as daily or as leisurely as monthly. Training is personalized to your personal fitness level and limitations. No alterations or reschedules.
Taking a kick to the groin for a woman is the epitome of manliness by many accounts. What can ooze more stoic masculinity than accepting her gift with honor and gratitude? A crack to the nuts is a blessing, like a sensual kiss from the angel of death. The stronger the wave of her powerful blow washing through you, the deeper and more satisfying the pleasure I receive from it.
So what is your ultimate gift to a woman? An ultimate sacrifice, though tantalizing to the mind and soul, offers little in longevity to your commitment in My sadistic satisfaction. I want your balls, but I want them attached to you with every nerve ending still tragically alive and suffering for me. If I shall be spoiled with a fine pleasure like breaking your balls, they are to heal quickly so that I may indulge frequently and more viciously each time. The more agony your voice betrays while I toy with you, the more compelling the urge to let my eyes roll back, enraptured by the power your misery supplies me with.
I will break you, but only so much so that I can break you again and again. When your vision betrays you, my foot will be there to remind your balls where the floor is. No cigarette is required for me to grind my heel into the concrete, your scrotum will do. It flattens so nicely under my platform heels after all. If only you deserved to feel my bare foot’s devastation, but I have to be certain there will be no attempts to escape from between my toes first. Some joyful stomps should set you up for success and good behavior.
Every scar you earn from me will add to your worth in my stable. Like shining medals lining a submissive uniform, my marks will award those brave enough to take on a life of sacrifice to woman. How far are you prepared to go with Me?
Ever have to keep a secret about one of the most exciting things that has ever happened in your life? Me either until May of 2021. It was a challenge, and I mostly pretended to myself it never even happened in the first place to curb the overwhelming desire to chat everyone’s ear off about it. I could really not, I had signed a non disclosure. But now it is out and I can finally share my amazing experience with you all!
It is likely you have already seen the show “How to Build a Sex Room” on Netflix, apparently many people have because it hit #7 on the charts last week. My excitement is exceeding my vocabulary capabilities right now and I am so grateful for everyone who believed in me along the way to this great moment.
Couples counseling is one of my most coveted professional undertakings. Not only do I get to experience the excitement and joy of two people at once, but I can help them grow together through their sexual deviations in a healthy and constructive way. The emotional reward of introducing couples to BDSM and helping them find the activities they like most in a safe way is immeasurable. So when I was approached by Netflix to help them film a docu series about couples wanting to explore their sexuality in the BDSM realms I was absolutely ecstatic and also very honored.
Working with Melanie Rose
As an added bonus this project placed me at work with one of the best in Interior Design and more interestingly, adult themed interior design. Melanie Rose was a pleasure to converse with and had a lot of foresight and mindful intuition in her tool bag. I could tell she really enjoyed creating these magical spaces for her client and in a way that was a big common ground for us. The joy of a happy customer who just found intimate fulfillment with their partner is special and she was not afraid to push these curious bunnies to experiment and taste things that are new and a little intimidating to them. After all they get a WHOLE sex room, there ought to be lots to explore there.
Self exploration is daunting, like most things with high rewards. Coercing these lovers out of their comfort zone was almost a prerequisite to giving them an adult wonderland in their own home or back yard. Melanie did a wonderful job pushing her clients to experiment with the unknown and precarious and introducing them to some of the exciting activities and scenes they can play with. Now that they know what is out there for them to enjoy, they can make a choice to taste from any and all the treats they wish, as much as they want, and as often as they like. They say growth begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and I do believe she led them there in the most fun and exciting way.
Working with Hannah and Wesley
I think my whipping scene with 46 may have intimidated Hannah and Wesley a bit! But after we were able to introduce each other they were very sweet and fun to play with. Through the magic of TV we were able to figure out their favorite dungeon props in no time at all. But in reality we spent a while chatting, laughing about silly and awkward questions and fears and ideas, and after testing out several implements and devices, getting excited for the stuff that made her eyes twinkle.
We talked through some of her fears around bondage and how he can work towards making them less relevant in their relationship and more accessible to them. We discussed techniques to enter intimate space gracefully and maintain the atmosphere for the duration of their scenes. A lot of BDSM is psychological, like playing pretend for adults. Not everyone has a natural inclination to be a good BDSM actor and player, but this is a skill that anyone can learn and perfect with enough practice. Who would not want to check that chore off their list?
The room Melani Designed for Hannah and Wesley is a work of fine art. It brought a smile to my face to see all the little elements of our consultation and tasting brought to life in such an opulent way.
How to Build a Sex Room
As a professional control haver, giving up control to a TV production company was very daunting for me. I worried about representing my community and industry and also giving the clients a productive and quality experience. So when the show came out I was up at 1 in the morning watching it and reeling with excitement.
Never has TV been more open and concerned about showcasing the adult industry in such a positive way. This is the series we all needed right now. The “sex rooms” are elegant and awe inspiring. They offer unlimited pleasures in exchange for your intimate imagination. I loved hearing Melanie talk about the importance and nuance of consent and helping guide coples to stroll further into their desires and fantasies through sensuality and communication. No drama and bs, just positive exploration of people’s personal indulgences. A breath of fresh air for anyone hoping to normalize the idea of sexual liberation.
23:05 – Screeching breaks announce the punctual arrival of line 30, the last eastbound bus for the day. A tall figure shrouded in a long flowing brown coat boarded, paid the fare, and slowly made way to the back. Long brown curls cascaded down from a matching brown hat, bouncing with every foot step, drawing all alert eyes on board. Of course at close to midnight there were few left to observe the incognito passenger, but those who frequented the line were slaves to their curiosity, and consequently concern. A woman seated towards the middle of the line near the aisle placed her hand gently on the luxurious sleeve as it approached to pass her.
“It is better to sit near the front. Late at night especially…” she muttered in a concerned tone.
The tall, mysterious woman smiled down from behind her tinted glasses. “Thank you.” and continued her graceful strut, past all the empty seats and all the way to the back, very back of the bus, taking her seat by the driver side window. For the next two stops she sat with her legs crossed, one leather boot over the other peeking from behind her fur lined cloak. Her slender pale hands rested perfectly on her knee, frozen in time, like a silver statue.
23:18 – The jagged symphony announces the arrival of another frequent rider along the ominous evening route. The same character who always boards bus 30 at the intersection of 7th street and 20th avenue, headed for the last stop of the day, pays his dues and proceeds to his usual seat, in the back, very back of the bus. A smile stretches over his shiny, textured face as he peers through his scraggly tresses and catches a glimpse of his usual seat, occupied. Excitement visibly wells up in him, pushing his steps quickly through the aisle, past the old woman scoffing at him in disgust and into the seat right beside an attractive woman in a long brown coat and leather boots. The wheels turn and everyone bobs gently in agreement towards the end of this ride.
Wasting no time, the newcomer slouches into his seat, letting his body droop off the seat awkwardly as he adjusts himself inside his own loose fitting outerwear. A strong alcoholic scent permeates the air around him as he shuffles loudly, peppering his performance with offensive grunts. Through the window’s reflection, a pale brown haired woman’s mauve lips are clearly smiling, watching every movement with great interest. Intoxicated by her perfect jawline and full, ripe looking mouth, he smiles back, his slimy mouth gaping as his lips attempt to create the shape of contentment. For a second he is still and dumbfounded, then the performance continues with the usual fit of vigorous shuffling in a very obvious vertical motion. This goes on for an eternity, or a minute, time does not always flow as one would anticipate, but eventually it comes to its obligatory head.
Slowly, the woman slides her hands up her thigh, into her pocket and out with a pair of thin, leather wrist gloves. He can see her slipping her hands in, expanding each little shaft around her slender fingers one by one. The now sweaty strands of hair on his face barring a full view only serve to lull him deeper into his fantasy as her hands disappear into the coat, slipping between the sparse buttons. She shuffled a bit and flashed a smile back, a real one this time, face to tinted glasses.
Ecstatic, he makes no pretenses, his motions now clearly betraying a very inappropriate act for the back seat of bus 30 at 23:31. A stain starts to form on his sweatpants, growing larger and larger behind the bulge responsible for it. As his eyes slowly adjust to hers staring directly at the dark wet fabric on his groin, he sees a flash of perfect white teeth roll over her bottom lip. An ungainly laugh falls out of his gaping face, and he slips his erect cock out for display. Before his eyes could focus down on his pride, and then back up to his prize, the sobering touch of a blade stuns him alert. In one swift motion she had expertly placed her left hand over his mouth and her right hand, apparently now armed with a hunting knife, just on the other side of his oozing appendage.
“Do as I say and I will let you keep it.” Her voice is calm and sweet, like she is giving directions to a spa room.
A small drop of blood slowly gathers at the tip of the knife as the skin splits easily under its pressure. Tears well up in his bloodshot eyes.
“Do not make a single sound. Do you understand?” She hisses.
A vigorous head shake.
“Good” Her hand slips down his face and across their laps. Ruby red fingertips start peeling buttons open on her coat one by one. The knife is still in place, but the promise of seeing the top of the long, leather boots melts the memory of this predicament almost clear away. Surely, there is nothing this attractive woman in thigh high leather boots can request that would even be objectionable, let alone worth such a loss. She unfurls her garment, revealing more leather wrapping her waspie figure, and sheer, immaculate stockings tucking into her boots. In her lap and strapped to her hips, lay a large, thick dildo. Jet Black, like the boots.
“Get on your knees and suck it.”
Time freezes for a second, then a bump in the road brings back to mind the proximity of the blade to the penis.
He scrambles down, cramming between the seats and her lap and begins to struggle. Exaggerated by her forceful touch, his efforts are messy and unfulfilling and he begins to choke.
“Shhhhh,” she leans down and pushes his head down and onto her tool, further into his mouth as he attempts to articulate his lips and tongue around its size.
“I am going to need you to do this quietly and quickly because I do not have lube and it needs to go in your ass, now.” His eyes widen as he chokes, spitting up a big wad of slime.
“That will do, bend over. Hurry up.”
She gropes him into place, still wielding the hunting knife with intention. Crammed in a corner, his head by the footing, he is trapped, too inebriated to risk fighting back. Now, wasting no time, she has begun to slide the sizable dildo into him. Using nothing but spit, she pushes it firmly, gaping him open, in the back seat of bus 30, in his usual seat, but in a very unusual position. The next few minutes last forever as road turbulence intensifies the vengeful back seat ass rape, like the creschendo of a feverish symphony. Humiliation dulls the pain of the loveless and lubeless intercourse. He takes every stroke, stoic in his drunken contemplation, hoping that this too will pass. Then she stops.
“Time for me to finish.” She sighs with relief and suddenly a rush of warm fluid pumps into him. Disgrace has never burned as deeply. Another deep sigh of satisfaction marks the end of the robust flow and she slips out and plugs the gape with a rubber stopper. Without saying another word, she wipes clean onto his jacket, buttons her coat, and struts slowly forward just in time for the next stop. There is no pause between her last step and the doors of the bus opening for boarding, and just like that the night swallows her away.
The profound humiliation of being sold at an auction, like a piece of meat, did not begin to poison the atmosphere until light flooded in, revealing all the mysteries of the darkness used to stow away the merchandise. It blinked, struggling to adjust it’s eyes. Indistinguishable colors slowly sharpened into focus to reveal a rather large barn, stocked full of common and uncommon items and equipment.
Among the bales of straw and farm tools were an unusual selection of shackles, and a stockade. Peering around further, a table filled with odd contraptions and a rack of strange costumes were visible; None of them as foreign and unsettling as the large shadowy figure lumbering straight towards the captive male. It squinted, struggling to make out the face of a large, oddly misshapen man, approaching him, mouth stretched open by a locked gag.
A blind frenzy overcame the wretch, pushing muted shouts out from behind its own oral restraint. Terrified of the humanoid creature that was now gently stroking the thick luscious hair covering its stocky body. It trashed and struggled to no avail. Strung up like a holiday roast, ankles and feet shackled together, exposing a delicate posterior to the whim of the captor. In the next few horrifying minutes, the man-beast deftly shaved down his hog with a long, blood-chilling barber blade. Every stroke of the metal edge taunted the skin with lethal potential, exposing tender flesh around the pig’s genitals to a new level of shame.
False hope washed over the little troll as his barber retreated. For a moment silence brought a profound feeling of relief, only to be squashed by the barn doors swinging open. A long elegant shadow loomed through followed by the woman from the market, the one who had bid highest.
“Well done, Three,′′ she suddenly towered over the hogtied male. “ finish the preparations and go eat your dinner with the others. You all may return for dessert.” Her words stretched out into a menacing grin across her face.
She pulled a bottle out of her overall pockets, the same dirty, loose fitting overalls from the auction, and downed several large gulps of a pungent smelling spirit. The contents of the bottle weaned as she oversaw her big, awkward servants stocking a station with various items.
“Okay, good” the end of her commands was marked by the sound of the empty bottle hitting the ground. The sound startled the captive and his attention was suddenly consumed by the bare flesh of its Mistress hatching out of her crude clothing. Her ass, perfectly exposed by the tiniest panties, was now in full view. Her figure pacing around the dungeon in a pair of boots and undies, intoxicated the prisoner, rendering him all but amnesic to the circumstances.
As her perfectly spherical buttocks jiggled into a harness, the jolting sensation of a cold, hard object slipping into his anus shattered the fantasy. Three, somehow now uncomfortably close, let out an imbecilic laugh from behind the rubber ball in his wet sloppy mouth, and fed the hose deeper.
Panic returned, even more desperate than before, when the blade was emasculating the purchase’s privates. Before the flood of anxious presumptions could solidify into a desperate boycott attempt Three turned a crank releasing a steady stream of water through the garden hose nozzle penetrating the male captive. Water gushed in, quickly flooding the intestines.
“Do at least five rounds, Three. This one looks like it’s eaten a lot of trash.”
For a moment, her scent wafted by, almost ripping the troll away from its misery, but the pleasure soon precluded with a shrinking glimpse of the owner’s toned ass strutting away atop leather boots.
A sinking sensation washed over the hog, all hope dwindling as the stomach distended by the water pressure.
“WHUH!” Three shouted triumphantly behind the gag, and ripped the hose out of the orifice it had occupied.
Shame took a new shape at that moment. Foul water spilled uncontrollably from the backside of the newcomer. Nothing could be more degrading than this, the thought was inescapable for him as he vacated helplessly in front of a stranger. The flow seemed neverending, every second bringing more stench and humiliation. Three stood stoic, hose in hand, unbroken gaze. He calmly hosed the mess down a drain and returned to complete his commands; Four more rounds. The scars on his body told tales of what rebelion awards the subjects of this plantation.
The rest would remain a mystery until the enema was done and the Lady returned.
2022 Brings a lot of new, exciting things our way. I want to jump right in so we can all have more time for kink in our lives.
Here is what is new:
I have just unpacked a parcel from Libidex containing a new oyster hood, arm binder, and bondage mitts in smoky black latex. The steamy scenes these new items will unlock have haunted my mind since I ordered them in late November.
A Sybian was recently added to the Goddess Cult play space. You may request it for any length scene at no extra cost.
Because of high demand and the ever increasing costs to run a business I am increasing my rates to meet the national standard in professional BDSM services. The following is my new pricing scale as of January 1st 2022:
1 hour $400 2 hours $700 3 hours $900 … Half Day $1800 7 hours $2100 Your 8th booked hour is on me $2100 … Full day $2500 (12 hrs) Overnight $2100 (6-8 hours of sleep included)
*Please note that specialty activities and last minute bookings will increase these rates.*
My utmost gratitude goes out to every person who has supported my small business throughout the years. Thank you for investing in my art and enabling me to grow into the skilled and educated professional I am today so that I can continue to create wonderful, kinky experiences for the players in our community.
Starting January 1st 2022 I am requiring a reference fee of $50-$100 per reference issued depending on how long it has been since we met. Without this I will simply be ignoring the provider’s emails. Please note that this comes after me generously granting my time and attention to give references to people and keep you and myself safe for over 7 years. Many of you ignored my simple rule of notifying me when using me as a reference, especially with not well known providers. Some of you have given out my phone number, something I explicitly say never to do. At least one of you caused me to incur a very damaging stalker through a reference. On top of all those things, the references take time and energy out of my day, to verify the person asking Is a real provider and not a bad actor, etc… My time is scarce and I would rather be playing in the dungeon than answering endless emails. I want to help keep you safe, but I can only do so much in a day, so references are now a service that you will have to purchase, and no longer a perk of having met me. – Thank you for understanding
It is now possible to get a rush reply to your email! Emailing me on a weekend and need to get through asap? Make a one time $40 tip payment through my Pantheon Pay and write “Time Sensitive” in your email subject. Note there is no guarantee I will be able to look at your email in any specific time frame. If I am in a long scene with a client, I will check the email and reply as soon as I am no longer in the scene as I would never want to make any of my clients feel unimportant or ignored in session, unless that was part of the vibe we are going for 🙂
Here is what is coming up:
Colorado Black out dates:
February 5 – 9 I will be in Boston!
March 12 – 17 will be in Salt Lake City!
April 10 – 15 I will be in NC and GA
May 14 – 20 will be in Dallas and Houston TX
Rubber Barbie and Michelle Lacy are visiting me late February to early March. Double and even triple Mistress sessions with the three of us will be possible in Denver for a short, magical moment. Bring the slavery experience to yourself, right here in Denver, or be whisked away on a rubber journey through your wildest dreams, you set the limits. Limited bookings available between February 24th and March 7th.
One of my resolutions this year was to do more of the things I love best. So I have created a new calendar for those who share my fetish passions.
February – BB with/out filming $250/ 350 hr
March – rubber bondage, “Brain Washing”, and female supremacy and worship scenes $300/hr or $250/hr for 3 or more hours.
April – human ashtray and/or “forced” intoxication $200/hr
The follwing fantasy was written by a very kinky boy who aspires to serve Mistress Michelle Lacy, Rubber Barbie, and myself in a filly immersed, female dominated world.
My Incredible Weekend at the Club Domme Estate
When I first arrived at the Club Domme Estate I was escorted into a closed office and told to have a seat in a small chair facing away from the door toward an office desk at the far end of the room to wait for my Mistresses for the weekend. I assume my initial greeter was another slave who served as a butler. My mouth was dry. My heart was pounding. I was even shaking a little. I couldn’t believe I was actually here! I took some slow deep breaths in and out in an effort to calm myself. After a few minutes I was mostly calm and becoming relaxed. Then I heard footsteps outside the door and then the sound of it being opened. I could tell by the footsteps that more than one person had entered the room. Then the door closed… For a few moments no one said a word. Then I heard my first command for the weekend,
“Stand and turn toward us and drop to your knees!”
I immediately did as commanded. There standing before me were Mistress Michelle Lacy, Rubber Barbie, and Goddess Isobel Devi! I knew that they were absolutely lovey by their photos but these two dimensional images pale to the real women. They are so powerful and well… charming too. Charming sort of like Vampire Countesses in a horror film I guess would be more accurate. For I knew that despite their sophisticated and even caring demeanor these women were predators and I was their prey! My heart was pounding hard again, I could almost hear it throbbing inside my chest. A chill ran from deep inside down into my upper thighs. Michelle Lacy spoke first, My rules of conduct for the weekend were explained to me. First I was to be stripped of my identity and given a number. I would be “slave four” from now on. I would only speak in response to a direct question, unless I preceded my speaking by a safe word, which was sort of a time out. My safe word for the weekend would be “red”. I was told to NOT forget this word! For that was the only way I could at least temporarily stop any punishment I may be receiving. After the preliminary greeting Mistress Lacy told me to remove my shoes and socks and place them beneath the chair. She then commanded me to strip EVERYTHING off, fold it neatly and place it in the chair. I could feel my pupils dilate! This was so exciting yet frightening at the same time! I did my best to undress without stumbling and falling then stood before them. I was trembling. Rubber Barbie spoke,
“I think this boy could use a little paddling perhaps to calm him down a little. What do you ladies think?”
They all agreed. Michelle Lacy commanded,
“Bend over and grab your ankles and don’t move until we give you permission!”
She then walked to the wall and took from a hook a rather large wooden paddle which she then walked over and let me have a closer look….Oh, it was a big one lined with quarter inch holes! She told me,
“We’re each giving you ONE lick. And for this initial punishment there will be NO safeword. You must take one lick from each of us, is that understood? You will reply “Yes Ma’am”.
“Very good, I’m going first, you may close your eyes if it helps.”
The moment stretched on…… then “CRACK!!!!!” Initially I was surprised at how LOUD it was but that was just for a microsecond! Then the pain exploded in my cheeks! I LEPT straight up grabbing both cheeks, letting out a surprised cry of pain!! OHHHHH my butt was on FIRE! And I could feel the skin swelling already!
“Bend back over and grab your ankles NOW!!!”
I could feel tears already streaming down my face but I did as ordered. Mistress Lacy handed the paddle to Rubber Barbie who came over and placed her palm on my back while ordering
“bend over further, I want that butt nice and tight…”
I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. My knees were shaking now……”CRACK!!!!” YEOW!!!!! I leapt up again and began hopping convulsively while squeezing my now swollen and flaming cheeks!
“That’s IT! Get over to my desk and lay across it NOW boy!” Mistress Michelle Lacy commanded. Tentatively I walked over and lay flat across the desk as ordered. She and Rubber Barbie then came around front and each took hold of one of my hands in both of theirs and pulled back strongly pinning me helplessly across the desk with my stinging butt fully exposed for more punishment…
”Now it’s MY turn.” Commented Goddess Devi I felt a hand press down firmly on the small of my back. “Spread your feet wide and push up on the balls of your feet too boy! I think you need a little hand spanking!” I did as ordered then she exclaimed, “That’s perfect! Now don’t move!” I didn’t think a hand spanking would be so bad. Oh was I wrong! She gave me ten blistering HARD slaps directly to the soft, sensitive patch of skin directly between my legs and above my balls. Oh how that stung!!! I’d never been spanked there before. But it was also very erotic and arousing! Goddess Devi commented, “Gross! I see you enjoyed that. You’re dripping all over the desk and floor! You’re going to lick all that up when I’m through with you! First I need to cool you off a bit though. I think five licks with this paddle will do….”
“Yes, give him five of your best! We’ll hold this miscreant down.” Rubber Barbie added. The two Goddesses each leaned back further to get my raw butt into perfect position for more! Ohhh….. I closed my eyes and held my breath. I knew this was going to hurt!!!…..”CRACK!!!! …..CRACK!!!!!……CRACK!!!!!…… CRACK!!!!…….CRACK!!!!!!” Ohhhh the STING was HORRIBLE!!!….I was totally blinded by tears! My butt was on FIRE!!! I could feel the skin swelling and stretching too! It was going to be blue and red for the entire weekend! After my paddling I WAS made to lick up my drippy mess too! When satisfied that I had adequately cleaned up after myself, Mistress Lacey put a hood with blindfold on me. I was then led by my captors out into a different room where I was guided down onto a smooth wooden bench. One of the ladies said,
“We’ve abused your poor bottom enough for the moment. We’ll give it a break.” But we’re not through with you yet…”
Suddenly I felt a strong hand clasping and tugging my cock and balls roughly forward, I yelped a little and then I felt a cord encircled around my cock and balls and pulled tight stretching them away from my body, then I heard the sound of wood thumping down against wood and “they” were trapped in what felt like a wooden vice. One of the ladies came behind me and removed my blindfold. I discovered that I was seated in a set of medieval stocks and my cock and balls were now locked on the other side of it! Next my hands were placed into slots and a securing top was fastened over them completely trapping me in the stocks. I then heard the unmistakable crack of a whip being tested off somewhere behind me. One of the Goddesses replaced my blindfold. I heard a mischievous giggle. Then Goddess Devi walked before me.
“We’re going to have a little contest, we’re going to clamp some close pins on your cock and balls and then see how many lashes it takes each of us to knock all of them off. Don’t worry, we’ll do our best to only hit the clothes pins.….”
And that was just the beginning of what was going to be the most incredible weekend of my life! When it was over I was exhausted but I have such wonderful memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life!
Do you share his dream? Or have you already lived it?
Completing the modern family’s most decadent needs.
We are all complex, multifaceted beings. We have likes, dislikes, curiosities, fears, aspirations and the ambitious need to nurture and grow in all those areas. Intimacy, weather sexual or platonic is high on most lists. The thought of hiring a dominatrix to spice up a relationship or find intimate growth may have crossed your mind already, or perhaps it was timidly bought up by your partner and you simply felt too intimidated by the process to pursue the idea further. BDSM is not for everyone, and it can be scary to venture into the depths of your most guarded desires, but if it is an interest of yours, my personal philosophy is to try everything once or twice before writing it off. I write this piece in hopes it will guide you and your partner(s) on your journey to finding the perfect provider for your needs and booked with no issues at all; just like booking your next hair appointment.
Finding the Perfect Provider
Part One : Prep
This is a big task and can seem dizzying to a novice. Let us break it down into fun bits that are easy and exciting to manage. The first thing you will want to nail down is what you are looking for. Ask yourself the following questions:
What do we like for sure? What are we curious about and unsure we will enjoy? What are we certainly not interested in trying at this point? What scares us the most about this prospect? What excites us the most about it?
It helps to write these down and don’t get too hung up on details at first, you can always change your mind later. Make a fun date out of it! Sit down with the person or people you want to explore your kinks with and spit ball some ideas. If nerves or inexperience are thwarting this process, do explore some online resources to see what is out there and available for you. My best recommendation is to look for providers in your area and check out their social media, blog, and whatever else they have created for their audience. Remember, just because something is shown on a business website or profile, does not mean it has to be part of YOUR scene. It just means it could be, if that was your interest.
Part Two: Search
Once you have a better idea of what your ideal scene looks like you are ready to look for your perfect facilitator. So clearly time to hit the Google. But don’t stop there, check out the top social media sites too. You do not want to have your options garnished by the failure of a vanilla algorithm. Not every excellent domme is an excellent web developer, and most of us chose to build and host our own sites for privacy and flexibility reasons. Try a variety of search queries, as they could bring up different results, by pairing key words like “Dominatrix”, “Mistress/Master”, “BDSM session”, “Fetish Provider”, “Kink” etc with your geographic location.
Here again, a little bit of foresight is beneficial:
Do our interests require an experienced and knowledgeable professional?
This might seem like a silly question. Of course you want the most professional pro to help with your journey! But not all kinks are equally specialized. For example most providers who have undergone basic training can safely conduct a scene with easier activities such as foot fetish, erotic humiliation, or tease and denial. They do not need 10 years of dungeon experience to spit in your face. But if you are craving an intricate rope bondage scene with suspension, or the sting of a single tail on your back, it is probably best to carefully select a person who is not only experienced in BDSM but also adept at those particular activities. Look for examples of their work on their social profiles, perhaps in their fetlife account, and maybe spend $10-$50 on premium content of theirs where you are able to confirm that this is something they can help you explore, safely.
Are our interests covered by the provider we have found?
Most providers work with all genders but every professional is unique in at least some ways, so be sure to check their limits and services. Most established providers will have a set list of “do not do”s somewhere on their website. Do not try to push those, if they don’t do it, they will not do it for new clients, no matter how sexy you are. Simply find a person who does offer your interest.
Tip: It may help you to know that most North American BDSM providers do not mix vanilla sex, like hand jobs or any type of classic sexual intercourse scenario, in their scenes. For those types of scenes you may find more luck with an escort who also practices BDSM.
Will we be safe with them?
This may just be the most important question you can ask yourself. From privacy to physical well being, you want the scene to be enjoyable from the start until the finish and after it is said and done. Remember that the adult industry is unregulated, and even with regulated businesses bad pro’s are unfortunately part of life.
Signs that your choice is safe are:
They have been practicing for five or more years and have little or no drama surrounding them.
They have a robust social media presence, on multiple platforms. *longevity of social media accounts plays a small role here as we get disabled disproportionately compared to vanilla businesses.
They have a strong network of other professionals they work with both locally and abroad.
How much will it cost? And how do we pay?
This is a good time to ensure you are able to budget this service. As of 2021 the North American industry standard rate for full BDSM services starts at $400 for a single client’s first hour. Couples and more specialized scenes could be priced higher and multi hour scenes could be discounted at the provider’s discretion. Payment methods for the adult industry are usually limited by the larger processors. Do not be surprised if their website lists less popular methods of payment like PantheonPay, SpankPay, or even gift cards for the deposit and then requests cash only for the balance upon meeting. This information is generally available on their website to make it easier for you to plan and budget your leisure so make sure you take all the time you need to familiarize yourself with the journey ahead. I promise it can only add to your excitement and anticipation and remove any potential surprises that would take away from the overall experience.
Contacting your Mistress of Choice
Okay but we are still nervous.
Nervous is good, take as many steps as you need. Here are some examples of steps you can take to build your confidence:
Book a consultation – Most providers will offer a phone or cam consultation for the cost of your deposit which then reserves your scene. So it is free to consult with them when you book after. This gives you a chance to ask questions, hear their words and intent, and get to know them a little more personally before it is time to exchange power.
Register for a pay to chat service they may offer like sextpanther or nite flirt and ask them as many questions as you want, a la carte, for as long as you need, until you feel ready to book.
See if they offer a casual meet and greet scene where you pay for their time to just sit and talk about anything you need to get off your chest with no obligation or pressure to book.
Okay, we are ready, now what?
So you did your homework, discovered some new things about yourselves, found the person who seems most qualified and compatible to take you on a wild ride, and are beyond excited to do the damn thing already. Great, it is all downhill from here!
Now that you have dotted all your “i”s and crossed all your “t”s it is time to contact them for your session. There are two ways to do this which are vastly preferred by practitioners in the industry: filling out an application, if one is available on their website or composing an email. Just remember to include important information such as your availability, location, and interests. You may find the tips for composing an email in my booking entry helpful.
What to expect
Provided your request was successfully received and did not raise any red flags, such as you blatantly asking for locally illegal or unavailable services, you can expect an email correspondence back within 3 business days or less. This does mean you want to plan your experience ahead and give at least a business week’s notice, especially if your availability falls during high demand times such as evenings or weekends.
This is by no means an all inclusive guide, but it should help steer you in the right direction. Questions are always welcome. You never know when something you asked could become the next piece to helps hundreds of readers just like yourself.
The swing-set is my favorite playground item. It is the feeling of weightlessness at the ends of each swing that spins My mind into a serene kind of frenzy. As I gained air and momentum, My white dress flared up to catch the wind. I stretched My pale little feet out as far as I could shooting up and then back.
From way up high at the beginning of another exciting swing I spotted a man-boy approaching with his hands held wide as if to receive Me for a big embrace. He was statured like a man, but had the look of a boy; lightly freckled skin, perfect blue eyes. He was very near now, almost beneath Me, perhaps looking up My dress which had taken to streaming behind Me like a long angelic tail.
I saw his beautiful face arranged perfectly for kissing, and as My gondola of joy brought Me down to My cortier I dismissed it all for what appeared to be a target, right between his legs. It beseeched Me and I obliged, landing My tiny slippered foot right on the target. I felt the dull impact, like stepping on an expired wafer, against the body of My little foot. The squishy flesh beneath his crunchy gentleman pants gave way, almost enveloping its attacker. Simultaneously the impact sent him to his toes, his eyes widening to accept the gesture with stoic gratitude.
My seat swung back sharply, pulling Me back on course against all physical reason. From the pinnacle I saw him again below Me, waiting, and I came down for another bull’s eye, laughing with maniacal pleasure as I descended. This time he became air borne, his face of masochistic bliss even more distorted, smiling at Me.
I kicked the man in the genitals again, and again until his head grew large with pressure like a balloon and finally burst, propagating a colorful shower of marshmallow candy bits. Each little sugar morsel melted into a gooey frosting as it rained down upon Me and the playground.
A drowning sensation woke Me from My dream. Have you had any kinky dreams lately? Share them in the comments or if you are shy in a private conversation with me.