To some, service is a calling. Being a part of something grand and spending the days working towards a greater purpose holds the meaning of life and existance. If that is you, you may be a service submissive in search of a stable to belong to. Many have approached me for this honorable position in my almost two decades in BDSM. The following is what I have learned works best for me and those who are accepted under my rule.
BDSM is a big part of my life, but it is not my entire life, and a delicate balance must be upheld for my work to prosper and be the integral part of my community that I dream of it being. My days and times of rest are sacred to me, and should never be interrupted by misplaced excitement. My sympathy and gratitude for such situations is deep and complex, and it is of great importance that I protect my energy for the sake of my ambitions seeing the light of day and becoming the future opportunities of fantasy come to life for my submissives and community. With this in mind, I have created a rough outline of my needs as a Domme in any sub wishing to serve me’s journey. Revisions and additions to these will come as time passes, and I am always open to questions and concerns regarding my rules and expectations. Consider this your resource for what is most comfortable for me, your Mistress.
What is a Service Submissive?
A service submissive is a person who derives pleasure and fulfillment from providing helpful labor for their dominant.
– Tasks completed for me are not a trade for my time, energy, or attention, and should satiate your need for purpose by virtue of being done for me so that I may enjoy more time to myself. I may choose to reward good behavior and hard, selfless work, and often do, but I am not required or expected to.
– My submissives will always place me first, after they have tended to their own needs. It is of great importance that you feel rested and confident when serving me to maintain a healthy relationship. Service and BDSM are in no way a replacement for physical or mental health care, and any such needs should be addressed with the appropriate professional outside of our relationship. I care deeply for my submissives, but I am not equipped to help them with personal or emotional hardships and will responsibly decline to be involved past a supportive friend-like role in your healing. While holding space would be my privilege, I cannot do so on a whim and expect you to schedule talk time with me at my convenience.
Service Submissive Expectations
Some expectations to keep the power exchange dynamic fluid:
Keeping a Journal
The slave journal should be concise, and used as a tool for reflection for both the slave and the Mistress. Create an entry within the first 3 days of any meeting, scene or casual. Keep entries under 3 minutes of reading. Include the following recollections:
– How were you feeling immediately preceding the last meeting?
– What was your favorite part of the meeting?
– Were there any parts you disliked or found difficult, and if this is accessible to you, why?
– What stood out to you the most if different from the above two?
– How did you feel immediately and in the few days after the meeting?
Fitness Expectations
Physical expectations of submissives are always realistic. Be sure you are able to easily and safely perform any of the tasks and activities that either party expects during meetings and scenes. The fear of a frail slave suffering an injury during kink play is real and unfair to bestow upon the object of your worship. If you need help and motivation getting into shape, I would be happy to integrate that into your training with me.
Health Expectations
BDSM requires effective communication and a stable mindset. If you have ANY health issues, address them ahead of any intense kink endeavors.
Mental health is of utmost importance to me. I expect good care to be taken to not have any personal baggage affect my ability to enjoy my time in scenes or during casual meetings with you.
If an emotional trigger is hit, I expect the submissive to pause or end the scene and have a discussion or some words of closure before tending to their needs. I am happy to listen and offer sympathy or explore routes of action with you, but I am not a mental health professional and will not practice such a complex discipline for any reason.
If triggers are being hit often and emotional dysregulation interrupts or sours our time together too many times I may ask that you take a break from our arrangement, seek professional help, and return when you feel that you have gained more ground and control of your wellbeing.
Behavior Expectations
I expect a positive and well adjusted attitude at all of our meetings. Respectful compliments are always welcome and a good way to promote an upbeat vibe. Do your best not to overstep any boundaries with personal questions, unless they are needed for an important discussion, or overstay your welcome, or milk the clock for extra time during goodbyes. Some of these can be honest mistakes and difficult to catch at the moment, and I have a lot of patience and understanding for that. However, repeated offenses will breed anxiety and drain my energy and overall damage the trust in the relationship. If you are going through a difficult time, and simply need a sympathetic ear, communicate this before our meeting so that I can better prepare to hold space for you.
Availability
What is a realistic amount of time serving your Mistress can take up? Communicate this clearly by offering your schedule, preferably weekly on Wednesday or Thursday for the following week.
I am generally unavailable for in depth communication most weeks Friday – Sunday. Casual pleasantries are acceptable. “Thinking of You, worshiping You!” is ok so long as the is no expectation for a reply. Asking me to consider favors or tasks is best brought up Monday – Thursday or during in person meetings.
I am ok with approved visits to other Mistresses so long as this does not interfere with my expectations of you being met.
Tasks
What tasks are you comfortable and confident doing for your Mistress?
Make your skill set and comfort clear. If there are skills you would like to learn that you do not know, ask to be trained. This type of initiative is favored.
Common helpful tasks
- Digital help such as advertising my work effectively and leaving online reviews
- Information gathering for projects
- Manual labor
- Rides
- Picking up and delivering items
- Errands
Financial Expectations
All expectations are best met with consistency. Find a sum at least $800 or more, you can comfortably tribute on a monthly, or broken up into weekly basis.
When sending weekly, be sure to use a method that does not require the Mistress’ effort, as she does not owe you contact on days of rest or vacation times.
Communication
Clear communication for your needs in our dynamic is expected of you. If you are unsure of what your needs are, we can work on discovering them together, however this expectation must be set with the honest admission that the work needs to be done.
Needs and expectations can and frequently do change, and that is ok, but must be recognized and communicated. I may not notice a change right away and always appreciate being told clearly that a situation has changed so it can be renegotiated.
Contact Guide
Contacting me can be broken down in a few different categories:
For booking time to have a scene – Use email, my intake form, or booking line if you have it. Include dates and times you’re available rather than asking for my availability.
For basic questions – Email or booking line if you have it. Be concise.
To play virtually – Always use my fan clubs or chat sites. If I am not online, you may email or text me to see when I will be on next. Never use my booking phone line or email to initiate kinky chat or any type of scene. I prefer to keep things separate for clarity and peace of mind.
If you need support or have an issue – Text or email me and request a time to have a discussion. If emailing, feel free to add some detail about the situation, but keep the composition under 3 minutes read.
General texting rules:
When texting my booking line, keep it simple and concise and be mindful of the hours of contact.
Preferred texting hours for polite greetings and check ins
Monday – Thursday 10:00 – 21:00
Friday – Saturday noon – 8pm
Texting to complete tasks or replying to me within an hour of texting you is excused from those restrictions.
Other Requirements:
While being brand new is part of the process, you must have at least one refference from an established, publicly practicing privider to qualify. If you do not have this, please book a standard appointment with me first for proper verification.
The Next Steps:
When you have made a firm decision to embark on this life changing journey and gathered your thoughts and expectations into a neat package, fill out the application and send a $209 tribute to have your submission reviewed. Applications without a tribute will be discarded without review after 3 days.
