The Good Behavior Guide

Mistress Isobel and a good girl

Social nuances can be perplexing. We all want to be seen, heard, understood, and hopefully liked. But how those prizes are earned can vary greatly between different groups and individuals. Every person is unique, and has their own personal preferences, making socializing in unfamiliar spaces a nebulous undertaking. BDSM, especially when mindfully practiced, can lift a lot of this fog. Do you yearn to be good and earn all the head pats? 

Mistress Isobel Devi petting her slave girl.
It takes more than good luck to earn head pats at my feet.

Good behaviors start with good intentions, but so do a lot of terrible mistakes so don’t stop now, we are just getting to the good part, the part where your hopes and dreams begin their journey to realization. I only speak for myself with this collection of thoughts, but it is worth noting that some of my peers have shared my sentiments on what constitutes a good boy, girl, pet, slave, client, and human. All of the following topics begin with a few minutes, or more if you should be feeling extra cautious, of thoughtful contemplation. Is your request clear and concise? Is it a reasonable ask of the addressee? Have you offered anything of equal or greater value in exchange for their attention and help? 

Here are what I consider good behaviors.

Online

In my robust internet dweller experience, some 24 years and two thirds of my life online, this is one of the trickiest undertakings. Here you are in front of the world wide web, vying for the attention of some person or people, me maybe. How do you stand out in a good way?

First make an effort to appear genuine. There is no need to put out any personal or sensitive information, you can be anonymous from your civilian persona, but also known online for being a good intentioned person. Always fill out your social media profiles as honestly as you can, giving people a glimpse of your personality, so they can decide if they would like to get to know you better. 

Make an effort to always contribute positive or helpful things to conversations. Sadly that arsenal of dad jokes is not going to work in many cases. If it is not helpful or uplifting, pass on making the comment. 

Be patient. People are skeptical, and busy. It takes time to build a good reputation, and no time at all to trash one you have worked hard on. Find understanding that your light will eventually be seen by all who should be looking for its warmth in time. 

Things to avoid: 

  • Airing out personal drama.
  • Trying to have free kinky chat with people in post comments.
  • Making emotional commentary on topics outside of your expertise.
  • Attacking people over petty personal beliefs and preferences.
  • Bringing politics into anything without a very good reason.
  • Cherry picking statements to get attention for something irrelevant.

Written Communication

Let us make this a little more personal. You are writing an email to me for the first time ever and you really want to make a good impression so that I can be excited to reply back as soon as possible. Here are some writing behaviors I find very attractive: 

Speak in complete sentences and with proper grammar. Please do not abbreviate anything in your correspondences and double check emails for typos and auto-correct issues prior to hitting send. I have no way of knowing what you meant, only what I see written by you. Seeing a well written email with all pertinent information included gives me confidence that our interactions will be easy and pleasant, and starts our relationship on a healthy note.

Send one email at a time. If I am traveling or preoccupied with existing projects it may take me up to two days to respond. Send a gentle reminder if it has been a few days and you feel your correspondence may have slipped through the cracks. 

During Booking

What about when you are booking a session? Are there ways you can shine as an applicant? If you are writing an email to request a booking the following tips could provide you the leverage you are seeking:

Only use email or the scheduler to book. I have locked most of my social media DMs to save those feeble to temptation, but do have some social media accounts where this is not convenient or possible. Do not take this as an invitation to stray from the rules. Make a good impression and inquire for sessions only via email or my online scheduling forms.

Tell me a little bit about yourself. But do not get too carried away writing a whole life story. The things I would like to know about include your interests, brief recounts from previous sessions and kinky scenes, Mistresses you have served in the past, and any limitations you are operating under. Try to keep your composition within a few paragraphs. Getting to know each-other in depth little by little, and through experience versus autobiography is deeply satisfying.

Leave graphic topics out of your first point of contact. Keeping your first point of contact concise is key. Getting into the nitty-gritty details of past adventures can be read as an attempt to initiate un-consented-to play through text and is generally regarded as rude. If a preemptive discussion is desired or needed, contact me via sextpanther or niteflirt to discuss in detail. Note that the exchange of money for penetrative activities, such as strap-on, is illegal in all states where sex for money is illegal. Talking about your fantasy on the phone however, is not. So feel free to call or text and discuss your kink with me in a safe space.

Once an invitation to book has been extended you will also be presented with deposit methods to secure your booking. It shows preparedness and respect to clear this step as soon as instructions have been received.  

During Scenes

Maybe in person interactions are your kryptonite. Having a clear plan for the meeting helps ease nerves and keep a steady path through. 

Upon arrival. If you have arrived to an appointment much earlier than anticipated, politely wait until your appointment time, or text to check if it is possible to start sooner.

Once inside my private space an upstanding approach is to politely kiss the Mistresses hand in greeting. Kneeling while doing so gets you extra bonus points, as does kissing the feet. I love to have my feet kissed.

     For the next few minutes you may ask questions and become a bit more familiar with the environment. Utilize this time well because once it is over, you are mine to do with as I please. When the time has come, place your envelope in plain sight, kneel, minding your eye contact restriction, and wait for my next command.

In Real Life

We kinky people are also normal people sometimes. We go to restaurants, shop at stores, and can even be found at events and venues having a good time living our best vanilla lives. It should go without saying, fantasy cannot intrude on reality and I would never approach someone I only know from the kink scene during their vanilla life and risk blowing some cover or secret. Likewise it is never ok to approach me or any other providers or public figures in vanilla spaces without an explicit invitation to do so. The correct approach is to politely make contact via an established method, like email or text, and allow me to make the decision whether I want to interact with you at that moment in time. Erring on the side of caution and sending an email or text saying “I saw you at that concert, you looked beautiful, I hope you had fun!” is a perfect way to address that newly discovered common interest without the risk of arousing suspicion. Extra bonus points if there is a gift attached to that note.

A perceptive little pervert may have noticed a theme here, be mindful and consider the positions others have in life when you are making a conscious decision to address them. Be kind, patient, and respectful. None of these suggestions require prohibitive skill levels or financial contributions. They simply guide you to showing the most attractive version of who you can be, so that you can enjoy the company of many other great weirdos and heathens, maybe even mine. 

Miss Isobel Devi using a kitten as a stool
Are you working hard to make yourself desirable for me?

How to Book a BDSM Session

Mistress Isobel Devi on a cozy seat in her library

Booking a session with a dominatrix or fetish service provider can feel daunting. Here is a concise guide on how to easily book your appointment with me. Note that this may not be the process other providers like, this is simply my protocol for efficiently setting up your appointment with me.

     This procedure has been updated to reflect my most recent booking options as of June 29 2023.

Before Booking

     Spend as much time as you are able to reading about my kinks, art, and domination style on my website www.MissIsobelDevi.com . You can find ways to chat with me, watch my videos, or view my subscription only content which provides an intimate look into my scenes and shows. Be sure to read the FAQ on the landing page and note my limits when you are considering the type of scene you would like to experience.

Availability

The DATES tab will provide you with insight on my travels if you are booking for a tour.

My general weekly availability in Denver is as follows:
Mondays : 10 am – 9 pm
Tusadays : No multy hour discounts, 4 hour ($2000) minimum
Wednesdays : 10 am – 9 pm
Thursdays : Noon – 8 pm
Fridays : 1 pm – 7 pm
Saturdays : 1 pm – 9 pm
Sundays: No multy hour discounts, 3 hour ($1500) minimum

Late night and early morning bookings that start or end outside of my outlined hours are not discounted for three or more hours, and an extra $100 per hour for one and two hours.

Booking

To request a booking with me, fill out an application and wait for an email reply. I have put careful thought into this form, walking you through all the details you may be too nervous to remember when writing an email. Take some pressure off yourself and just fill out the form! Then relax, it can take me up to one week to get back to emails. If I am touring, possibly even more.  So planning ahead is recomended, between 2- 6 weeks is optimal, but if you are booking six or more hours, the earlier the better.

Emailing me directly is also an option. Maybe you hold pride in your composition skills; By all means, I love to be wooed with words. Here are some detrimental details you do not want to forget:

Your location – I travel often and may have ads in multiple cities, omitting this is sure to get a reply asking you to either fill out the application or provide your desired booking location.

Your availability – It may seem polite to simply ask for mine in an effort to be most accommodating, but the truth is my schedule is very dynamic and sometimes chaotic and it is simply easier to ask if I am available during any of your most convenient times.

Your interests and limits – although you will have a chance to discuss those immediately prior to the scene, it helps to have them in writing in your initial correspondence.

Your desired scene length or budget – It is up to you which of these factors is more important. But for planning purposes I need at least one of the two. 

I usually check general inquiry emails Mondays – Wednesdays and bookings are reserved on a deposit first basis. This means your requested time may be booked out by another person in the time you make the request and place your deposit. It is best to send the deposit within 3 days of me confirming my availability for your request and providing you the deposit amount and methods to avoid this or risk looking flakey.

For new clients, deposit options are CashApp and Zelle. Other options may be available to repeat clients. Please wait until our second or third meeting to ask.

Last Minute Bookings

Last minute bookings are any bookings that have a start time less than 24 hours from the initial request. To book with less than 24 hours, send an email titled “Time Sensitive – your name as it appears in the payment” and include a $55 payment via SextPanther , or if you have been given previous permission to, CashApp or PayPal. Always leave the coments blank and simply provide your payment credentials via email.
Alternatively you may try to reach me via paid chat where I tend to reply within the day, usually within the hour or less, Monday – Saturday.

Once Booked

     If you booked manually, please wait up to 24 hours for further instructions. I will reply as soon as I’m able to with a confirmation and check-in instructions.

     If there is time between the booking and appointment and you wish to discuss the scene in more detail, contact me via paid chat.

     Please do not blow up my booking line or email if I’m slow to reply during any part of this process. It can take me up to 5 business days to reply to communications that are not time sensitive, such as a booking scheduled a few days or weeks in advance.  I will always reply to time sensitive matters as soon as I am able to do so, without affecting any existing bookings. 

Abuse of my contact methods will result in a cancellation without a deposit refund and a possible booking ban.

     Check in for your appointment via text or email 24 -12 hours before. You will not receive the address until this step. Please do not ask for the address early, you may request an approximate location for commute planning purposes in advance.

Post Scene

If you wish to check in after the scene, I welcome polite emails to reflect on our time together or ask any questions. Texting is ok as long as it is done Monday – Saturday 10am – 8pm.

Mistress Isobel Devi checking her book in a latex catsuit.
Now where did those records go…